Pregnancy Ain’t So Easy For Some
It’s a common misconception that pregnancy just occurs, as it should, and when we want it to. After all, a large percentage of modern women spend a significant portion of their life taking a pill, that literally tricks their body into thinking they’re pregnant. Then, years later, when we decide we want it to happen, sometimes it just doesn’t. It’s devastating, heartbreaking, and a harsh reality many women face.
Sadly, many women cope with these common struggles in silence. Much like my patients, I too rarely talk about my personal story into motherhood. However, recently, I realized silence was helping no one, including myself. There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, it’s a reality that many women cope with. Frankly, pregnancy and motherhood just isn’t easy for many of us. It isn’t glowy or as simple as deciding to get pregnant, and conceiving that month. There’s so much more to it.
Fertility Is Complicated
Being a woman is complicated. Fertility is complicated. I understand all of the emotions surrounding fertility today. My hope is to share that even I, as a “professional fertility expert” have had miscarriages, a breech baby, a c-section, and a very challenging pregnancy.
Despite all of the challenges, I live my life believing that nothing ever happens without reason. Instead, throughout all struggles and losses, I searched for lessons and Spiritual reason that helped me to stay present in my body. Staying connected to the Universal powers and to myself, provided me with a profound understanding of how to treat fertility in the modern day. Especially, for those without those pesky red flags. For those who “should” be able to conceive, and for those who simply walk down a bumpier path into motherhood. If this resonates, you are a fellow warrior woman, and this is for you. So please allow your guards to come down. I get you, I hear you, and I am here to help with your journey into motherhood.
Believe You Can Conceive
Fertility complications can be debilitating, and for lack of a better word monopolizing of ones life. The scheduling, tracking, and “structured” sexual activity can make anyone’s head spin. On top of that, the doubt and loss of trust of your own body immediately takes a toll on a woman’s psyche and self-worth.
It’s something I see often; true doubt in a woman’s ability to actually conceive a child. It’s understandable. After months of trying and not conceiving, or experiencing a devastating miscarriage(s), it is challenging to remain optimistic about oneself. What makes matters worse, is being labeled as “unexplained infertility.” Meaning there are no red flags, and therefore no real reason to offer why you’ve been unable to conceive. It’s a messed up label that occurs often. Too often in my opinion. So after everything, it’s understandable you would have doubts, lack faith, or lose confidence in your ability to conceive.
The Magic of Conception
Conception and pregnancy is a true miracle. Think about what occurs within your body. A tiny living soul forms and grows within you! A little heart, feet, and a tiny little face are all created by your body. How is that not completely f*cking magical? Yet, we forget about the magic of fertility and instead focus on only the science.
At my acupuncture practice I focus on the magic, confidence, and the timing. I first, always take into account any true medical red flags. However, for the cases when there are none (and trust me there are a lot) I then dive into the patient’s physical health and also her prospective of conception, pregnancy and motherhood. Where is her head at? How is the health of her physical body? What does she think and how does she emotionally feel about motherhood?
Instead of focusing only on getting pregnant and having a baby, it is important to bring light to all of the challenges your body-mind is about to endure. Think about it, conception occurs, THEN pregnancy for nine months, THEN labor and delivery, and THEN a woman is thrown into motherhood all within a moment. That’s a lot and I am exhausted just thinking about it!
A woman’s body has to be healthy and prepared enough to not only sustain the pregnancy, but to also sustain their health postpartum while taking care of a newborn baby. After all, if mama isn’t healthy, who is taking care of that baby? So if conception hasn’t occurred yet, there is never any reason to panic. It might just be that your body and soul needs a little extra time to prepare for the dramatic transition.
Timing + Losing Control
From my own personal and professional experiences, I have discovered that sometimes reasons can be something as simple as timing. Meaning conception might not have occurred yet, because the timing is off. Perhaps your body isn’t quite ready to sustain health through pregnancy and into motherhood? Or perhaps there’s some things needing to be done before you become a mother.
Simple I know, but think about it, motherhood is a drastic physical, mental, and emotional life change. Too many times I have found patient’s weren’t quite ready to let go of their single life, or hadn’t come to a real understanding of all of the lifestyle changes that come with becoming a mother.
I understand many might find this observation to be complete bullsh*t. After all, we as a society lack patience and crave reason. However, once we come to terms with being small specks within a vast Universe, where we lack any and all control, we are able to let our guards down and surrender. I can think of no better lesson to learn before becoming a mother. Try having complete control over an unreasonable toddler, or a newborn baby that doesn’t understand how sleep deprived you are. Becoming a mother is signing up for losing all control of ones life.
So step back and think about it, do you have anything you want to do before becoming a mother? Are you physically, mentally and emotionally ready to lose control?
Motherhood + Conception Blockages
There might even be some emotional, energetic, or spiritual blockages that need to be addressed before conception can occur. Remember, it can be about timing! Sometimes, these blockages can be something as simple as a woman admitting to herself that she has real fears or anxieties about motherhood. Will she be a good mother? Suppressed anxieties about potential changes in her marriage dynamics. Perhaps even unrealized fears about labor and delivery. All of these are true concerns that I always address when working with fertility patients. While it might seem silly to some, I often find once these realizations, fears or anxieties are confronted, conception magically occurs. Often, that month.
Truthfully, most of my fertility training has come from nothing I learned at acupuncture school. Sure, the theories, acupuncture points and traditional treatments play a role. But, all my professional realizations and methods of treatment come from my own personal struggles. After experiencing miscarriages, and a challenging pregnancy, my own perception of what fertility and motherhood ACTUALLY IS dramatically shifted.
I can honestly say, I understand the struggles on a profound level, because I have experienced it myself. Being able to relate to all fears, doubts, or anxieties without judgement allows me to bring down any blockage quickly. Helping women to regain confidence in themselves, face any blockages they might have, and gain trust in their fertile self is the greatest honor of my professional career and life. Taking control of ones body and facing fears is empowering. I can think of no better quality for a mother to have.